Fantasy The Bachelor

 Good news! There's actually three more hours of the Bachelor than I originally thought! That's about how long it takes to develop a crush on someone just cause she's in the Honors College with you. Exciting! Decided to upgrade the leaderboard this week. Relatedly, if anyone knows how to illegally download Photoshop, don't be shy. 

If you're anything like me or the middle-aged women in my Bachelor Fantasy Facebook group, you love advanced stats and you love the Bachelor and you love Bachelor Fantasy. If I ever don't appreciate any of those things, make sure to slap me silly. Here a just a couple of graphs that I might work to include for next season. The future is here, and it's time to say it and not spray it.

Hey everyone, just thought I should make sure to get these standings out before the finale. There are no points to be won on Sunday night's "Women Tell All" episode, but it will still be well worth watching. I will try to get a post out before tomorrow's finale with some advanced stats and sabermetrics. Also, if I see that there is a potential for a tie for first place (seems unlikely at the moment), I will send out a tiebreaker question relating to the final episode for the involved parties. Also, definitely have to include this, because I've been slacking on the blogs. Standings (Paying Customers in bold ) 1. Lawrence Piece Kid- 2764.5 2. McCall- 2588 3. David Zaro- 2565 3. Lewandowski's Lovers (Ryan Tahbaz)- 2565 5. Becca + Arie = Becky (Cormac)- 2454.5 6. John- 2435 7. Not Here To Make Friends (Abby)- 2372 8. RP- 2370 9. Ronnie R- 2209.5 10. Luke- 2145 11. SVD- 2130 12. Tucker- 1900 13. Chance- 1890 14. The Truth (Darren Tahbaz)- 1829 ...

You better protect your eyes like you're gonna watch a solar eclipse in Kansas, because this week is a slaughter. That's all I've got folks. Top Scorers : Krystal: 95 points--talking shit to the Bachelor about another contestant (20), riding on a boat (10), kissing the Bachelor (10), crying on camera (25), being selected for the two-on-one date (30) Lauren B: 95 points--mentioning parent's relationship (5), mentioning previous fiance/spouse (10), dancing (5), concert (5), riding on a boat (10), kissing the Bachelor (10), being selected for a one-on-one date (20), getting the rose to stay another week (25) Tia: 95 points--dancing (5), wearing a costume (5), riding on a boat (10), kissing the Bachelor (10), having a body part blurred (30), being selected for the group date (10), getting the rose to stay another week (25) This Week's Eliminations (Bold if captain ):  Krystal Total Points: 435 Teams Owned By: Becca + Arie = Becky, John, McCall, Luk...

I'll be honest, I don't understand anything about this week's episode of the Bachelor, but I'm pretty sure I loved it. I don't understand what the 5 Krystal is doing. I don't understand how David Zaro is in second place without ever even seeing a picture of the women he picked to be on his team. I still don't understand any conversation I've had with Greaseboy. And most of you won't understand why I'm leaving this picture of the Lincoln Memorial here. Oh well. Highest Scoring Women • Chelsea: 85 points—Mentioning her kid (5 points), Dancing (5 points), Attending a concert (10 points), Riding on a boat (10 points), Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points), Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points), Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points) • Tia: 85 points—Saying “I’m falling for him” to the camera (20 points), Riding on a boat (10 points), Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points), Being selected to go on a on...

Top Scoring Players: • Krystal: 105 points—Talking shit to the Bachelor about another contestant by name (20 points), Hot tubbing (5 points), Interrupting the Rose Ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelor alone (20 points), Crying on camera (25 points), Being selected to go on a group date (10 points), Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points) • Seinne: 90 points— Talking about her parents’ relationship (5 points), Dancing (5 points), Going on a picnic (5 points), Attending a concert (10 points), Riding on a boat (10 points), Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points), Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points), Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points) • Tia: 85 points—Saying “I’m falling for him” to the camera (20 points), Interrupting Krystal’s one-on-one time (5 points), Hot tubbing (5 points), Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points), Being selected to go on a group date (10 points), Getting the group date rose (35 points) This Week...